Measure of My Life

What is the measure of one’s life?

In the still moments where alone I sit

writing out the words that play

along the horizon of my mind

darting to and fro

seemingly solid at once

then becoming ghosts the next

whispers that speak in the dark

that have no meaning

as I try to grasp what to do

my writing is weak

my poetry is nonsense

but the words taunt

they jump about,

just out of reach

the feelings are raw

how do I measure my life,

by what I do,

or what I don’t do?

Is it worth the effort

or the critique of a thousand voices

that all yell and scream.

Life is measured in the seconds and minutes

in the hours of the day

in the seasons as they change

in watching the summer fade

and falls colors drop away

as winter winds blow them around

down empty streets

where lovers clasp each other tightly

holding themselves against the cold

of their own feelings and doubts.

What is the measure of my own life?

What will I leave behind to be read

and thought about?

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Anamnesis 

Candles are lit 

the altar hung with green

the Chalice and Paten 

entombed under the veil

on the table rest cruets of wine and water

the Ciborium is filled with bread

a small candle burns above the tabernacle

Christ present in this place.

I look out at the people

some are sitting, 

some kneel, 

others stand.

There was a time

when the priest stood with his back to them

now I stand there face to face

a sea of humanity waiting to cross

into the promised land

yearning to know God

in the simple gifts of bread and wine.

The gifts of God,

for the People of God.

The mystery of Word made flesh

an offering made for us all

as I intone the ancient words

the centuries are brought together

the living with the dead

sharing the bread and the wine

the anamnesis complete

of hearts seeking God’s gift.

Grace

Sitting here surrounded by theologians,

Barth, Tillich, Moltmann, Bonhoffer all ghosts.

There is Rowen looking like Gandalf,

there is Wright, holding the fort.

I really do try to read them,

I really do try to understand.

The meaning of grace,

actual grace, cooperating grace,

efficacious grace, irresistible grace,

prevenient grace, sanctifying grace,

sufficient grace, all kinds of grace.

No wonder we are all a muddle,

we just don’t get God’s grace.