I haven’t written much in the past week, with Holy Week and Easter plus the added fun of having family visiting, I really was pressed for time to write and writing, for me, takes time. It’s not something that I just sit down and then pour out all of my thoughts onto a page. It’s a process of experimenting with these thoughts, putting them into words and then trying to make sense of what I’ve written. Once in awhile I’ve tried some of those one word prompts, some do generate a good line or two, most just don’t get my creative juices flowing. I see something, think about it, then try to let the words flow from the brain onto the page, the trouble is that it sometimes looks more like the scribblings of a mad man. Crazy thoughts generated in my Swiss cheese mind doing their best to flow through the many holes I have created over the years. Next week I will be starting another writing course, this one will focus on creative nonfiction. It will be an opportunity for me to explore a genre that I feel a bit more comfortable with rather than straight out fiction writing. With nonfiction writing I hope to open up a few more avenues into my creative process writing about those things that I find both interesting and baffling. It doesn’t mean that I will be creating some kind of best selling story or book, but I will be creating a picture for myself, a painting in many various shades and hues of the world that I inhabit. Like most works of art it is all up for interpretation, someone may love it, another may hate it, then others will see something totally unintended by what I’ve written. In a way that’s the beauty of the creative process, it’s in seeing the various responses that helps me to hone the material into a more cohesive piece.
Workshopping a piece with others in a creative and supportive environment is what I like about these classes. I live so much of my life within, always just mulling over a thought until it becomes mush. Even writing in this blog is taking a major risk. Exposing my inner thoughts in a less than welcoming world, a world that is so set on its own agenda, sets my introverted self on edge. Yet, I cannot allow that fear to drive me underground or to stifle my thoughts. Sure, I’ll be the first to admit I’m not one of those bright lights, shining in the distance. I’ve always figured that amongst my colleagues in the Episcopal priesthood, that I’m definitely not one that stands out. Mostly that’s been my choice, staying in the background, flying under the radar, so to speak, and just doing what I do without the fanfare and bright lights others seem to crave. However, now as I begin to contemplate my next life beyond active ministry, it’s time for me to take stock of where I am and where I’m going.
I’m sure stuff will be spilling out over the next few weeks and that some of it will make it onto this blog. Some of it may not look pretty and some may be a bit puzzling but at least I’m taking the risk to put it out there.