Bored 

 Okay, I will admit it, I’m bored. I mean, how long can one sit in their bed with an ice pack on their leg, watching worn out re-runs or inane game shows. Sure, I have been reading but lately my mind has not been too keen on focusing, I get a few pages read and then fade away. 

 What I’m beginning to discover is that this healing process is not only a physical journey, it is also a spiritual journey. It is walking by faith into an unknown future with the promise of wholeness and healing at the end, except the end is so far away. This journey also requires some sacrifice on my part. I just can’t skip the exercises, or sleep my whole day away. In the coming days and weeks I will face many mountains and valleys, I will pass into the shadow of doubt and despair, yet through this all the glimmer of love on that far horizon is my beacon of hope.

 It has been awhile since I last read Homer’s epic The Odyssey, a tale of one trying to get back to his home, family and the love he left behind to go away to war. The story is full of strange places, one eyed monsters, seductive sirens and dangers of the sea. I remember as a youngster reading about Ulysses and his gallant crew trying to envision what it must have been like as they struggled each day to return to their home. In a way, I am on my own kind of odyssey and along the way I have run into the seductive sirens, those one eyed monsters and have been tempted just to stay put on that one special island. Yes, the voices are out there, “Well, maybe now it’s time to put that bike away, do something less dangerous,” or “You aren’t as young as you used to be, you don’t heal as quick, you will never be the same.” These are the negatives, the voices that, for reasons unknown, seem to project their own insecurity and fears upon the patient. Sure, I could give up the cycling, but that’s the easy way, what if I run into another issue, physical, emotional or spiritual? Do I just ignore it, try to circumvent it or just go to ground, hoping that this too shall pass over? 

 Each day I dig deep into the core of my being seeking the strength and courage to keep taking the next step. Every morning is a new adventure that brings with it its own promise and failure. I’m not saying that this personal odyssey is going to turn me into a mystic or some kind of shaman, trust me, that’s not my nature and not my calling, but it will make me stronger. After all, I sit here with a titanium rod in my leg, pinning together bones so that they can handle the weight that is the rest of my life.

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