A few nights ago I had this weird little dream, in it I was at some kind of writers conference or workshop when I hear that Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy are there to throw out the first words. Now for those of you who have no idea who I’m talking about, Don and Jerry are the broadcast team for the Red Sox and since being laid up I have been watching more games than usual. I have been thinking of that dream and wondering what my deeper subconscious is trying to tell me. Dreams, according to some, is that place we enter to work out some part of our life, I want to write but at times my own self doubt holds me back then there’s Don and Jerry who put themselves out there during each game they cover. They are not the best but I also get a sense that they know that, it’s their passion for the game that shines through and that’s what truly matters. If there is ever a plus side to my accident it has forced me to take the time to write, the negative side, I also spend way too much time thinking. The thinking part gets me into trouble, I begin to parse every word and every thought as I seek to sanitize my thoughts. In other words, I try to be too perfect instead of just allowing myself to free write. It is a process and something that will come with time, at least I hope it will. In the meantime my focus is on the healing process and that has consumed most of my life up to this point. It’s sometimes hard to be creative when you are basically uncomfortable and tired, then again I also see this as a wonderful period of creativity. Like yesterday when I went to the hospital for x-rays and to have the surgical staples removed. Pretty much a comedy routine complete with dark blue paper shorts, required for the x-rays, and having a large mirror in the examining room with me on my side staring at my reflection with my special blue shorts pulled down to reveal my butt. All I could think about was being in one of those “B” movie brothel scenes, the only thing missing were the red lights.
It is much better to look at the lighter side of things while I continue to rehab and get back to doing what I do best. In the meantime, I will get up, walk, do my exercises, read, write and above all pray because for me it’s that spiritual grounding that keeps me from losing it completely. Of course, if I do lose it, I’ll be sure to write it all down. Nothing like the diary of a mad priest to liven things up.